One More Time...

I forgot to say some things in my last blog.

The greatest thing I did when I turned 29 was reflect on my whole life.

The mistakes, failures, good, bad, accomplishments, deaths, births, and how grateful I should be to still be alive to grow from it all.

I am so blessed.

Many people don't get the chance to see their 29th birthday. I am very grateful.

I have forgiven myself for the mistakes I have made and I pray that people will forgive me for the mistakes that I have made as well.

All you can do in life is accept what is happening right now and move on. Change and grow but most of all LEARN.

I remember moving to LA when I was 23 years old but I actually started living in Los Angeles when I was 21 in the year 2001. So many things have happened to me since then and all I did was sit and think about my life on my birthday. I let the film of my life play out in my mind. The good, the sad, the ugly, the horrific, the happy times, the sweet times, and etc.

Its unbelievable that I am still in one piece.

There were some times in my life that I wished never happened! But now I am a better person because of it. There were a few deaths that changed me forever and a few births that did the same thing. There were a few people that I didn't like that taught me the most important lessons that a friend could never teach me. I thought about someone that taught me alot of life lessons and it touched me.

Seeing things in hindsight was overwhelming.

Being in LA and going to the old haunts really put things in perspective.
I remember what it was like living there and things haven't changed.

Well the only thing that has changed is this new technology boom with myspace, youtube, facebook, and etc. These internet stars Tila Tequila, Cassie, Lily Allen, Cory Kennedy, Soulja Boy, and the fact that everyone can make a movie, be a critic, say anything they want to say... as Elliot Mintz once told me, "Darling, its the black hole of media. If you censor it, it might as well be television." Now you have to know who this Elliot Mintz is? He is a genius! Still with those words, he is still sharp!

I thought to myself, I wondered if my life would have been any different if I were 21 years old right now? What in the world would have happened to me? I don't know if I would have been able to cope with the book of the internet. I thought it was out of control back then but its worse now. I look at the Wikipedias of other peoples' and they list all their articles and interviews. None of mine are listed. Alot of my interviews and television spots aren't listed. I guess it was before the era of Technology. I know girls my age that just started to become popular in 2006 who seem to have more press coverage than myself but I have tons of magazine covers from Asia and Europe but none are listed. So its pretty interesting. Its almost like if you don't list your interviews and your magazine covers/press it doesn't count! And its like this race to see who can market themselves better on the internet? It's definitely new but not really new. Its a whole new game just from a few years ago! When I was 23 I don't remember this kind of thing happening? When I was 23, I lived in LA and I had a Publicist. I did all kinds of photoshoots for all kinds of magazines i-D, British Vogue, V Magazine, and I went to all of the shows front row. That was never shown on the internet. I remember doing a photoshoot with Paris Hilton when I was 22 years old before she was famous and that was never shown. Ha! And I remember being with her in LA for fashion week and it just being like whatever. Now-a-days, its serious. People just going for it, going out to get scene, calling Paparazzi like the world is going to end and pretending like they didn't call them and calling gossip columns giving tips when its really them calling in! MY MY MY.
Also, I think you have to be pretty avid to be keep up and sometimes I don't care. But DAMN, Diablo Cody was discovered on the internet! AND I LOVE HER! Perez Hilton and Necole Bitchie have made names for themselves and it seems like you don't have to do anything these days to be famous and you don't have to have a degree to be an internet critic.

I try to keep up but I am still honing my writing craft and I just gather with other writers sometimes. We are just a bunch of boring nerds. We don't do anything but talk about writing and talk about books. I laughed to myself and I thought how boring I've become. I am so glad that I am not 21, 22, 23 anymore because I've had too many experiences to last me 50 lifetimes!

I am ready to settle in and just be domesticated!

Bring it on!

ONE MORE TIME...

TL